hi i am alan. kelly's boyfriend.

“That being said, I, of course, have a way of evening out the scales: the cheesiest of romanticisms. I do feel the feelings these works exude, but the specific vehicles I choose for showing affection are often just awful and hilarious pieces, dripping with over exaggeration and the disgusting pink blood of love.” -anonymous



In his 1979 album Teddy, Pendergrass traverses numerous landscapes of love and relationships. Lend your ear to some passionate and ridiculous musical expressions with me, as we cruise through a play-by-play of this smooth audio orgasm. (iTunes link above)

Track 1 – Come Go With Me
I’m slightly bored; I hate being bored
The lead-off track is a soothing number, chronicling the initial meeting of two individuals who, through the man’s gentle coaxing and fail proof intuition, wind up going home together to “work things out.”

Track 2 – Turn Off the Lights
Turn ‘em off!
Let’s shower together and rub ourselves down in burning hot oils. Yeah girl.

Track 3 – I’ll Never See Heaven Again
I’ll never never, never never, never never, never
The sixth time I proposed to Kelly…this song was playing. At the bowling alley.

Track 4 – All I Need Is You
Make love to me while it’s still dark
The point is clear, and you just know.

Track 5 – If You Know Like I Know
I love you, from your hair to your toe
An innovative mash-up of affectionate phrases and reassurances blended with faux-angered, maniacal delivery.

Track 6 – Do Me
Do it like this, oh that felt so good
One of the most instructional pieces of contemporary music ever made.

Track 7 – Set Me Free
I want to be alone
This song is a mirror reflection of the relationship Kelly and I have.

Track 8 – Life Is A Circle
You can’t respect nobody till you respect yourself
Stevie Wonder wishes he wrote this.

Take care,

a
the ginger.